
Directed by Elizabeth Wijaya & Lai Weijie
Written by Elizabeth Wijaya & Lai Weijie
Produced by Tan Bee Thiam & Sherman Lai
Country of production: Siem Reap, Cambodia
Production Company: 13 Little Pictures, E&W Films
Format: HD
Genre: Drama
Running Time: 75 min
Synopsis
What does it mean to declare or even whisper: I have loved?
In Siem Reap, a young woman, haunted by loss, mourning, melancholia and the imperfections of memory, dances with two men–one of whom she is married to, while the other is engaged to be married.
Director’s Statement
Marie goes to Cambodia in search of a romantic honeymoon but is confronted with the ambiguities of life and struggles with emotions and impulses beyond her understanding. “I Have Loved” is an intimate exploration of human consciousness, time and ways of remembering. After the death of her husband, Marie is haunted by an eclipsed memory—she cannot remember a key traumatic event as it happened. Trapped in a Freudian cycle of mourning and repetition, she returns to Siem Reap to remember—so that she may forget. But she fails to achieve her desired catharsis. When she meets Amarin, who is drawn to her grief due to his own buried sorrow, light shines into her cloistered soul but guilt, fear and their vast differences makes them remain both soul mates and strangers. The landscape and architecture of Siem Reap and the Angkor temples are also characters in this film that explores contradiction on different levels. The town of Siem Reap, compact and yet filled with contradictory building styles and transient tourists, is a metaphor for the frazzled yet searching and hopeful minds of the characters. The splendor and illusion of the grand and cold Hotel de la Paix as a modern temple for privileged pilgrims gestures towards Resnais’ “Last Year in Marienbad” and also the Angkor temples. The time- weathered temples form the emotional core of the film and visually allude to the ancient human soul—battered yet magnificent before the dust of modernity. The visual style of the film will be poetic and allusive, as if experiencing someone else’s dream. Beauty on the screen is meant to reveal the ephemerality of beauty and the fear of emptiness beneath. References include the paintings of Degas, Richter and also Louis Le Brocquy. This film is also intended as a love note to Cambodia. While the trauma of its recent past needs to be remembered, showcasing the glory of its ancient history and landscape is also an affirmation of its future. Like Marie learns, Cambodia, especially with the Khmer Rouge Tribunal, confronts a painful history rather than try to forget what is impossible to forget. However, the film avoids any explicit reference to politics. The world, in fact, is almost solipsistic as Marie’s epic emotional voyage colors the mood of the film.
Directors’ biography
Elizabeth Wijaya, recipient of the NUS Research Scholarship, received her MA in Literary Studies and BA (First Class Honours) in English Literature. She was President of the NUS Literary Society and the co-director of I HAVE LOVED.
Lai Weijie graduated from NYU Tisch School of the Arts Asia with an MFA. He was director of photography for DELILAH, BEFORE (Best Short Film, Tribeca) and co-produced HOMECOMING that grossed more than $3 million in Singapore and Malaysia. Recently, he co-directed his first feature I HAVE LOVED.
I Have Loved Teaser Trailer
An intimate story set amidst the epic Angkor temples, “I’ve Loved” is about love lost and love found. Marie-Faith, young hopeful and optimistic, has had a whirlwind romance with Harold, the older gentleman who has swept her off her feet with his charm and wit. Now married, they are on honeymoon in Cambodia. But things do not go as planned and the honeymoon ends in tragedy. Over the years, Marie-Faith returns alone to Cambodia to come to terms with what happened.